wtf twamps on the trail is crazy

I was going to blog about my semi-eventful day but the delivery chinese has already arrived and I'm catching up on my The View. Yesterday's.

Bruno talk, I saw it. Joy did too, she liked it, of course. She is a self-described "European type". Barbara said she laughed but had some problems, she wagged her hand like the penis and made her eyes look wild. "Tell us more, Barbara," said Whoop.

The Ron Paul scene is funny. "I don't like seeing the little people* being made fun of, I don't like seeing close ups of anal sex." - Barbara Walters
*the campers and the two reverends, more specifically when pressed who and what "little people" were.

"A 12 foot penis on a screen is not my idea of a good time, at home on the other hand . . ." - Whoopi Goldburg

Next topic, masturbating teens in the UK. Their government is encouraging it because of too many baby babies.
"Isn't that like encouraging Donald Trump to make money? It's like, duh!" - Joy Behar

Elisabeth actually said that her Catholic school didn't "touch on" it.

Whoopi is all about it. Graphic talk! Sherri was disapproved upon when she suggested masturbation to her religious celibate support. It moved to technique and Barbara freaked. As she mentioned, so sagely before the cut to commercial, at least they were not talking about Michael Jackson or Sarah Palin.

I ordered too much Chinee. I fast forwarded the commercials and they are talking about Michael Jackson, unapologetically so.
Dim sum sampler is all I wanted but added cold noodles, hot and sour soup and an edamame in order to justify the delivery.

Next topic, a Japanese study of chubby asians leads to about 7 more years to their life but Barbara says that "a study of honkeys" shows that calorie restriction is the way to go. Personally, I shoot for fifteen hundred calories a day. The daily recommended is 2000 for women, 2500 for men and the average American consumes 3700.

Sherri is trying to get into a bikini "for the show" and has 26 days left "to succeed". She is asking random people to stop tweeting about seeing her eating in public and breaking her diet, "Stop being a twattle-tale!"

Next topic, Spongebob Squarepants. It's some anniversary. It's over now. Jimmy Fallon is up next. That's how they roll. Bing bang boom.
An Olive Garden commercial in fast forward made me mad, it's been an emotional day.

Jimmy rehashed the comic book super hero joke he made at the Time 100 event about Michelle Obama, it's a good one. He just showed a blurry i-Phone photo of him, the president and her. Apparently the president teased him for being overdressed at the barbecue, he made some generic being awkward joke to finish the story. Now he


Now he is So boring I was distracted away and am too busy to finish this episode of yesterdays The View, my lunch which has made me feel ralphy, or these thoughts (which are similarly ralphy as well). Similarly is not my favorite word. I'll sign off with an e-mail exchange I was just having as an example of my en communicados with, as Barbara calls them, "the little people" (reverends, campers, lou-dogs).

Caution, the jargon is heavy and the jokes are not light. But I'm no Bruno with my dick waving all 'round, yo.
Our interaction could almost use a translator.

LOU-DOG:
true. sorry to hear boutcher dtp fine! what is this, the dogg pound??? clean up your ackt, riley.
I'll holler at danny, still gotta see that kidda his.

tubing this weekend??

ME:
i'm workin the green reefer fest here in g-vegas, mon.
lordhavemercy michael franti and the queerheads is the musical act, crazy because i remember that event being called the balloon fest and it being like 7 bucks to go (for the weekend). now it's [censored] 35 for a day!
i'm working all day fri and sat but maybe sunday before i go to work?
that could be the tits!
i still have 4 awesome tubes (ew) and i heard they went up to twomps on the trail, gay!
so- sunday??

L-D:
haha g vegas. hahaha mike franti and queerhead, aka mike franti and shithead. hahaha 35 bucks a day. gentrification bitches. the yuppies ruin everything.

yah cool, i got 2 tubes too, they need a little air, though. what time you have to work on sun?

wtf twamps on the trail is crazy